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No Justin Bieber, no, no I will not love you. I just can’t. When I see pictures of you or hear your songs alarms go off in my head, “DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE.” I legit thought you were twelve years old Justin Bieber, and I could almost deal with that. Like, “aww but he’s just a kid, let him have a go!” But.. you’re sixteen. You.. you don’t sound sixteen sweetie… Or look it. I mean… I think, I think you need some help… some like.. Growth hormones.. Or.. Corrective surgery… Or.. Something.. (also you’d think with all that money you’d be able to afford a decent haircut, I’M JUST SAYING).