August 2010
1 post
1 tag
Too busy to be pissed off anymore, you can find me here.
June 2010
1 post
Fantastic Mr Fox
This is NOT a rage against Fantastic Mr Fox, this is a rage against everyone who refuses to see it, or didn’t like it, because of the use of stop-motion animation. I’ve had three people, most young, use that as an excuse now, saying ‘preschoolers could do better’. Um, no, they couldn’t. God, you’re so spoiled these days with your polished animations. I’m...
May 2010
1 post
Why do people feel the need to occupy the stall next to you in public bathrooms when there are usually like eight others free? If they want to hear me urinate that bad I’ll just knock em up an mp3 next time.
April 2010
1 post
March 2010
1 post
2 tags
In case you can’t deduce from the past few fyfo posts, I WORK IN RETAIL. So prepare over the coming days for an onslaught of ‘things I hate about retail’ posts. To get the posts a’rollin (yes tumblr I know that isn’t a word, I just made it up, now away with your red squiggly lines!) I’ll begin with this: PUT THINGS BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM! Displays can take up...
February 2010
3 posts
4 tags
“Mosquitoes are the most unnecessary insects on the face of the planet.”
– Frogs can just eat flies, fussy bitches.
People who come into stores at 5:25 PM have clearly never worked in retail.
3 tags
January 2010
1 post
Everyone makes a huge big deal about the ‘their, they’re, there’ thing, but I think there’s one worse… Loose and lose. You know that sound Sideshow Bob makes when he steps on a rake? EVERY TIME.
December 2009
2 posts
1 tag
The followers of this blog are so loyal, I love it… but because this is a blog about ranting I’m going to have a say about everyone who doesn’t follow this blog. One word: douchebangers.
Customer: Do you have this in any other colours?
Mind: YES, YES WE DO. WE HAVE 8293748923 OTHER COLOURS SITTING OUT BACK, WE JUST COULDN'T BE BOTHERED PUTTING THEM OUT ON DISPLAY, COZ YOU KNOW, WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. HELL, I BARELY NEED THIS JOB, SHOW YOURSELF TO THE BACK ROOM.
Polite Self: No sorry, everything on display is all we have! Let me know if you need anything else :)
Mind: THROWS GRENADE.
November 2009
2 posts
sliceofmurder:
so people can’t drive worth a shit at night.
“OH MY GOD?!!! WHAT IS THIS INKY DARK SUBSTANCE SURROUNDING MY FEILD OF VISION?!?! WHY WONT IT GO AWAY?!?!! MAYBE IF I SLOW THE FUCK DOWN AND MAKE IDIOT TURNS, THEN THE INKY MONSTER WILL GO AWAY!!”
morons, if you cannot drive at night, please burn your eyes out with a crack lighter.
Please pour burning meth into your eyeballs.
October 2009
3 posts
“People who use the phrase “years young” should have their young...”
– This isn’t how to try and reclaim your youth, maybe try a convertible?
The next screaming child I come across will be placed in a large metal box. Once this is done, I will proceed to beat down on said box with a baseball bat, just so they can understand what they sound like to me.
September 2009
9 posts
I hate you new bedroom lights. Who puts flurosecents in a bedroom? Douchebaggy electricians, that’s who. Oh, fyi: we don’t call electricians over to change light bulbs, they had to rewire our lights and then replace them. ANYWAY: I’d like to have light the minute I flick the switch, not go “Oh golly, it sure would be swell to be able to go into my room without stubbing my...
thelittlecrankyone:
Attn; Ms. Taylor Momsen.
You are a sixteen-year-old upper-class girl living in America, playing a sixteen-year-old upper-class girl living in America. Kindly hop the fuck down off your high horse and stop living vicariously through Cortney Love’s past. Give up the microphone, put your pants back on and let it go.
Because I know how much Lily and Anna appreciate Taylor...
Keep your cats in check people. I don’t want to be woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of two cats going at it, not again. Have you ever heard that sound? Do you know what that sounds like to a person half drunk from sleep? It sounds like the end of the world, that’s what it sounds like.
“We get it: Kanye West is a d-bag.”
– You should have picked up on that when these happened. I’m pretty sure they make him a bigger douche then the shit that went down at the VMAs.
sliceofmurder:
harpy:
Why do people NOT from L.A. wear the “L.A.” hats?
Stop.
You don’t live here and you look like a douche.
People in L.A wearing the “L.A” hats.
period miss. Period.
WE KNOW WE ARE IN L.A
have any of these people actually paid attention to L.A?
it’s not that great.
the hills combust spontaniously
morons crawl these streets dancing to some retard calypso beat.
...
Stupid stories about the latest diet fad. Go. Away. Reporters should be ashamed, how about you go do some REAL journalism instead of blabbing for half an hour about boiled lemon peel and pepper juice. If I hear, “Flat stomach without giving up pizza or getting off the couch! Results in 0.002326 seconds or your money back!” I’ll spike your fourth Coke for this evening with...
So you’re browsing the internet. There are several windows open, couple of tabs, you know. Then, all of a sudden, you hear something. Someone’s talking to you. In one of the 908123908 windows open there is audio playing, probably over the top of the music you’re playing, and it’s probably just an ad screaming at you to join the defence force or something. Quick, before the...
I’m sick of walking out the front door into an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Lately there have been these kamikaze type swallows, I didn’t even know we had those in this part of the country. Not to mention the magpies and the constant war between the miner birds and crows. Today was the best so far though, all of the crazy local birds I’ve learnt to put up with had a common enemy, a...
Oh my God GI-Joe was AWFUL
extrafirmhold:
I know, I know, anyone could have told me that. But I couldn’t help myself, it had SOME Transformers connection, if only via Hasbro. And YES, early screentests said it fared worse than Marci X and Serving Sara. BUT MY GOD, there is a reason everyone hates Sienna Miller, who throughout the film, NEVER WEARS A BREAST PLATE, despite the constant threat of BULLETS TO THE HEART. However...
August 2009
46 posts
You have got to be kidding me. →
To all clothing stores everywhere: doors on change rooms = good, curtains on change rooms = messed up. No matter what, when dressing rooms have curtains on them there is always that annoying gap that people can totally see through. Everyone knows this, they just don’t talk about it because it makes them feel better about the fact that everyone saw you trying on those jeans, and everyone...
fmylife:
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend’s rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I applaud you. I don’t understand why he threw a brick through your windshield though, you were clearly doing him a favour. He might actually have a chance of getting laid now.. Might.
Why Public Transport Sucks Part II
Now my children, an anecdote, just for you. There was a dude on the bus, high as a kite, threatening repeatedly (and loudly) to kill the bus driver. Nobody knew what to do, how do you reason with that? I tried to count how many times he said “Don’t make me kill you! I never kill in front of children!” …So… you’ve killed before? You just don’t kill if there...
Attention (Insert Your Country’s Name Here) Idol & Dancing With The Stars, please do the world a favour and just disappear. Forever. Or at least, give us a break. Yes, a break would be nice…. Really nice… In fact.. Okay, sticking to the original plan: It’s time for these shows to go the way of Old Yeller. Take a leaf out of Big Brother’s book and just go away....
Maddox is back. →
Why Public Transport Sucks Part I
Public transport encourages stalkers. Catching the same bus/train routinely makes it incredibly easy to stalk someone. I have a public transport stalker. I don’t care for it at all. I found an empty seat on the bus and didn’t realise until the last minute that said stalker was occupying the seat next to it until the last minute. If I didn’t take that seat it would have been...
You know those music sequences in films where somebody starts tapping a spoon against a glass.. Then somebody for some reason starts whistling, then someone else starts rhythmically grating cheese and before you know it everybody’s playing, I dunno, Bohemian Rhapsody using nothing but clogs, aforementioned cheese grater and sheer determination? I can sense these types of scenes coming from a...
“Is it Australia’s fault we can’t view Hulu.com here, or...”
– I have to find some other way of watching Family Guy now.. I don’t really mind, but I just don’t like the fact that I can visit the site, then when I go to watch the video it’s all… “Hold up there buddy.. Something’s not in order here.” STOP TAUNTING MEEEEE.
Blood tests. My brain knows there’s going to be needles.. it can accept this and it knows that’s it’s not going to hurt. Much. So if I’m thinking all these calm thoughts about how it’ll be over before I know it, won’t feel a thing blah blah.. Why does my effing body spaz out? I go pale (more so then usual), start to tremble a little, and kind of forget how to...
Lily: First and foremost, for those of you who have no clue what V is, let me enlighten you. V is not just the twenty second letter in the alphabet, or even a fashion magazine. Nay, my friends, V is brilliance in a can. V is crack in liquid form. Then why, you ask, are you ranting about this? I’ll tell you why. Because some motherfucker decided to put this shit in a bottle; a bottle that I...
I don't think some of my followers get it...
Follower: Are we back in early 2000? Geri Halliwell’s ‘Ma Chico Latino’ is OLD news.
Me: Yes, Chico Latino dropped back in '00. But is it not still relevant? The answer: is… gay. RIP G.Halliwell: Popstar, mother, faggot.
Follower: Well I guess if ur using such derogative words, maybe the clip (despite the year released) is relevant 2 u.
Me: 'Derogative words'? 'Popstar' is not 'derogative', she IS considered one in some parts of Paraguay....
Follower: 'The answer is gay', 'RIP', 'faggot'. what the? she and her career are alive i wasnt aware she was a bndle of sticks with string?
Me: Didn’t you hear? She fell down a rivine while spelunking in the South of New Zealand : (
Me: And I hate to break it to you... but she WAS a bundle of sticks or "faggot"
I can't believe I wasted 14 dollars on this shit.
I’m talking about GI Joe. I had one friend turn to me and ask if I wanted to leave. Unfortunately we couldn’t. The person who drove us was enjoying it too much. Barf. The only thing that made me smile was that this one dude just looked like Stephen K Amos after a shitload of free weights and protein shakes.
See?
Anyway, I got so bored during this movie that halfway through I...
risely-evan:
Just an update on the brown dress challenge (because clearly that’s the only reason you’re following me. Duh.)- To cut a long story short, I failed abysmally, which I’m not surprised at in the least, but a girl has to try. To be fair, it’s not my fault brown only comes in shades of fug.
If Lily can’t find one, no one can… Brown dresses: you suck and should just abort...
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
– The smartest fucking kid ever, my guess is he was about four. Normally kids throwing tantrums in shopping centres annoys the crap out of me (and um, everyone), but I feel this one was justified. This was the boy’s reaction to his mum trying to get him to try on Crocs. I nearly adopted him then...
